The birth story at last!

My baby girl was born at home after a long labor. If you count from when I knew I was in labor... then it lasted about 18 hours. But if you count from when it started to get painful, it was more like 15 hours or so. Anyway, I had gone walking at the gym that night for about an hour, and was feeling a lot of light contractions... but I had done that several times in the last few weeks. I started feeling contractions around 7 pm or so, but nothing out of the ordinary. Then later, around 9pm... I started to feel a slightly sharper sensation with each one but still didn't think much of it. I went to the restroom though and saw some mucous... then I started to wonder. Then, after a little bit I saw a little blood! So I got excited and knew that this was really going to be it! I waited a while for my husband to get home, and he was so excited to know I was in labor! So I started baking the birthday cake, and making sure that the house was ready. It was a good way to take my mind off of the contractions. Finally, I tried to get some sleep around 11pm or so... but by that time, I couldn't sleep through them, so there was no sleep to be had! I went ahead and iced the cake and put on the candles. Then there was nothing to do except focus through the contractions which were slowly getting my attention more and more. I wasn't sure when to call the midwife and I wanted her to get as much sleep as possible... so I waited until I was hurting pretty good and yet still would give her enough time to get there as she lives a good 45 minutes to an hour away. I hadn't eaten in a while, so I ate a banana and some toast with almond butter. The midwife arrived around 5:30am or so, and by then, they were coming pretty close together and I was using the ball to lay on and sway through each one. They were painful, but I could deal. She monitored the baby for about 30 min or so with the doppler and all looked good . The contractions were coming pretty close together and getting stronger and stronger. Maybe an hour or so after the midwife arrived, my water broke during a contraction and there was a small gush of fluid. The fluid had a good bit of meconium in it. Sometime in there, I threw up the smoothie that they had been feeding me. Then, directly after that, the midwife was monitoring baby's heartbeat and started to get nervous and told me to breathe really deep. She said that the heart tones had dropped pretty low and she was getting nervous! They then had me lay on my left side on the floor, and all the while, I was shaking uncontrollably which was sooo annoying! She advised us that with meconium in addition to decels in the heart rate, that we needed to go to the hospital because the baby could be stressed. So she called the doctor and packed up her truck while she had my mother listening to the heart tones with the doppler to see what happened. My husband was doing his best to pack up a small bag for me and they were getting me dressed btw contractions as I was way into laborland at this point. The midwife then decided to present the option of checking my dilation to see how far along I was. She said that if I was complete (as I was showing possible signs of transition), then we could stay home and start pushing. However, I was only about 3 cm at that point, so that didn't do much good. However, as my mom was listening to the baby... the decels had stopped and baby was doing fine through each contraction, so decided to go ahead and use the fetal monitor and monitor the baby for another hour before going into the hospital. So they did that, and the baby was fine and there were no more scary decels... so eventually, we decided to stay home! I had mixed feelings about that because I really wanted my home birth, but at that point... some drugs and a quick end to all of this sounded pretty tempting! But I knew that the hospital would mean a c-section for sure and I very much did not want that and all that comes with it. So we stayed put and kept the monitor on for another few hours or so I think. Through all this, I was having a lot of pain in my back with each contraction. There was always someone there to rub it, and that helped a lot. If there wasn't someone (anyone) rubbing my back, it was much worse! I had my eyes closed and was very inwardly focused at this time, so all I don't remember who did what. I just know that I needed a hand to squeeze, and some hands on my back with each one. I was getting really exhausted as I had not slept all night, and had very little to eat. They tried giving my sips of smoothie, but I kept throwing it up so my husband was aking me takes sips of water and electrolyte drink to keep my hydrated. They said that I was sweating profusely, but I was too out of it to remember. A few hours after the hospital scare, she checked my cervix again and I was 6 almost 7 cm dilated. She tried to push it open a little through my next few contractions, which hurts terribly but I was willing to take it. I soon made it to 8cm, and she said that I could try to start pushing and my body might open up more. She was really wanting to get the baby out as soon as possible with all the scares we had. So I tried a few pushes, and before too long, my body was pushing by itself also. This made me think that I was close and that I must be dilated. However, she checked me again and I was 9 cm, and not budging. So we spent the next..oh...about 5-6 hours pushing and changing positions, and trying different things to move thigns along. She had said at first that there was a lip of cervix left, so baby couldn't descend. However, after a little while she realized that baby was just turned wrong. She was posterior and thats why my back pain was so bad. The only thing that gave me any relief, was to be in the warm water of the hot tub we had rented for the occasion. In the tub, I was falling asleep btw contractions. But, after a while, I had to get out and try something else because we were getting nowhere! So I walked for a little bit and swayed through them with my husband holding me up. Then we went back to the ball... and then she had me try to lay on my back and she did some maneuvers inside through a few contractions to try and get baby to move. This was the most painful way to labor!! I was screaming in pain as I pushed with all my might and I could hear my poor husband next to me crying and praying because he couldn't stand to see me in such agony. Alas, baby would not budge. So she had me try this other wierd position on my knees and elbows but I could NOT labor like that, so I stopped that real quick. Around this time was when I finally gave up. I moaned that I just had nothing left and that I couldn't do this anymore!! This was responded to with tons of encouraging words and prayers and my good friend Keri (God bless her!) was reading scriptures and reminding me that God had led me here, and that he would not give me more than I could handle! She had been doing this the whole time almost. She read my affirmations to me, and prayed aloud over the whole situation. It was so helpful to be reminded of God's presence when I was feeling so terribly weak and defeated. So the midwife decided that she would let me rest on my side for a little while, and then we would head to the toilet and try that. There really was no resting at this point, especially with the intense tremors that I got especially bad when I was on my side. I was trying to conserve energy and not push unless my body did... which it did with almost every contraction. So finally, I got up and was escorted to the toilet by my husband and the midwife. On the way there, I could feel something different in my bottom... but was afraid to get my hopes up. I had already gotten my hopes up earlier being 9cm, and then gotten them slowly crushed with each push that did nothing! I was feeling like I would be in labor for the rest of my life and I would just pass out and die soon! So we got to the toilet and tried a few pushes. It was terribly painful, but felt different so that was a good sign. She checked me and found that the baby was finally starting to descend!! It was finally go time, and things were progressing!! She told me to push with all my might and use the whole contraction. I was reluctant to push so hard because I didn't want to tear, and I wanted to give my body time to stretch. But the midwife was adament that I push HARD, and get baby out quickly! The pressure was out of this world, and its true what they say about pooping out a bowling ball! Thats what it feels like! I pushed and screamed and tried not to worry about tearing. I trusted that the midwife had her reasons, and although the pain was like nothing I could imagine... the end was in sight, so I just pushed with everything I had. After only a few contractions, I could feel the bulge of her head with my perineum stretched over it, when I reached down with my hand. So close!! After a couple more, she was crowning and the midwife had me my bottom forward so that the baby wouldn't fall into the toilet! By this time, everyone in the house was gathered at the bathroom door cheering me on and giving my the play by play because I couldn't see it, and I was just focusing on pushing! It helped so much to have them cheering me on, and to share those moments with all of them! Finally, after the "ring of fire," her head was out, and the midwife unwrapped the cord from her neck. The midwife told me to reach down and get my baby, because she slid right out! They were all amazed at how fast I reached down and grabbed her and pulled her up to my chest! It was so amazing how the pain just seemed to vanish after she was in my arms! I even forgot to check if it was a girl or a boy! I was just talking to her and admiring her and she was looking up at me so alert and calm! Finally, I was reminded to check, and I made the announcement that we had a baby girl! They wrapped her in a warm blanket and I offered her the breast for her first meal, and she took it rather quickly! I was bleeding a lot and the midwife was getting worried so she was massaging and doing things to get the placenta out and stop the bleeding, but I barely noticed and just did as she told me. I squatted next to the toilet and pushed and it came right out. Then, they gave me a shot in each leg to increase contractions so the bleeding would stop... but again, I barely noticed! We stayed on the toilet as the midwife stitched up a 2nd degree tear and another tiny one up top. That didn't feel too good, but was nothing compared to what I had just experienced. Finally, they helped us to get into bed and leora was allowed to finish her meal with the placenta still attached. All the while, my mom was there with some much needed food and drink and she was feeding me too! When she finished and fell asleep, she tied the cord and my husband said a prayer aloud and then cut the cord. I then handed her over to her daddy and they took her to the foot of the bed to examine her. She weighed 7 pounds 2 oz, and was 19.5 inches long. I was then escorted to the bathroom for the herbal bath and the midwife helped me to get in and gave me several post partum instructions for the next few days and weeks of healing. Soon after, my husband brought Leora in and she joined me for our candle lit herbal bath! She was looking around at her mommy and daddy and stayed so calm and alert until she finally fell asleep. Afer the bath, her daddy took her to bed dried and dressed and the midwife stayed and helped me to do the same. I felt like I had been hit by a truck, but at the same time I was full of all sorts of wonderful hormones and endorphins that had me feeling a bit high! I was smiling and talking and just really enjoying these moments that I had waited for so anxiously. Not to mention that I was simply thrilled to not be in labor anymore!! The midwife gave us some final instructions and left us to get some rest in our own bed! I was so looking forward to sleep... yet I hardly slept that first night because of all the adrenaline I suppose.
God had been faithful and allowed me to have my baby the way that he intended for me. Had I been in the hospital, I would have no doubt had a c-section, and had a much different experience. Although it was painful and long... I feel that God really used this to purify me. He showed me that He will sustain me through anything, and that He will always keep His promises. He showed me how pain is necessary and will turn to joy! I was moaning and praying through the entire labor, and I know He was right there listening. I imagine Him feeling my pain with me and hating to see me in pain... but letting it happen because He wanted me to be purified and be more like Christ. Just like the Father that He is. My God sustained me through this incredibly difficult, and yet immensely joyful experience! I never want to forget one bit of this amazing experience. It was the hardest work and the most difficult day of my life thus far... and yet also the most rewarding and triumphant experience I've ever had!